Why did I pick Psalm 25 and what does it mean to me?

At my grandfather’s funeral, I was asked to read a portion of Psalm 25. I was told it was one of his favorite passages in the Bible. The portion I read was from verses 4 – 7:

Make me to know your ways, O Lord;

teach me your paths.

Lead me in your truth and teach me,

for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all the day long.

Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love,

for they have been from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;

according to your steadfast love remember me,

for the sake of your goodness, O LORD!

At the time of the funeral, I was a newly saved Christian. I could barely make it through the text because I began to sob. As I look back now, I realize there were many reasons for my weeping, but the overall reason was for the joy I had found in Christ. To know the other reasons for my crying you should know a little bit about my grandfather and my relationship with him. My grandfather’s name was John.

When John was in the service in 1918, he went to a Baptist revival meeting and it was there that he gave his life to Christ. After accepting Jesus, he felt the best way to put Jesus in his heart was to memorize the New Testament, or at least as much of it as he could. I remember he could recall many parts of the Bible effortlessly from memory, which always amazed me.

After his military service, John returned to Fresno to raise a family. He married my grandmother, Elsie, and they had nine children. Wow! While in Fresno, John worked as a ranch foreman where he learned to speak Spanish. He attended the Full Gospel Tabernacle – Assembly of God Church from 1920 to around 1935. During this time, church teams would evangelize in small towns around Fresno where they would establish other churches.

During the depression he went to Hume Lake to fell trees and cut wood. Times were very difficult for the family during these years. As the depression eased however, John moved back to Fresno where he got a good job in a grocery warehouse. During the war years, he made airplanes to support the war effort.

He moved to the town of North Fork, in the foothills of the Sierras, where for a while he ran a cabinet shop with his son-in-law, Chuck. One day while in his 40’s, he disappeared from his house for three days worrying his family greatly, but on his return, he had given up drinking and smoking and he decided to devote his life to spreading the gospel of Jesus. John rededicated his life to God and continued his work with the Assembly of God Church.

In 1950, John was called to go to Mexico to help build a dining hall and kitchen for a Mexican orphanage. While there he also started preaching and teaching the gospel. He was invited to outlying villages to bring the gospel to the Christian families that were living there.

In 1951, John came home to Fresno where he was appointed an Assembly of God missionary. John then returned to Mexico, with his wife, Elsie, and his youngest son, Charles. Elsie taught women to sew and do kitchen work and John evangelized in the villages around Acapulco.  It was during this time that the Assembly of God Church bought them a pickup truck with a camper to make it easier for them to continue their missionary work.

Around 1957, Charles was sent back to Fresno to live with family while John and Elsie continued their ministry in Mexico. They were invited all over Mexico to preach and teach in various village churches. Elsie taught literature to women and children and John counseled and preached.

In 1978 they decided to permanently move back to Fresno as Elsie was diagnosed with cancer. They moved to Sanger, a small farming town outside of Fresno. They lived in a trailer on a small farm owned by their daughter and son-in-law. Sadly, Elsie only lived for six months after their return.

It was here that I finally got to meet and know my grandparents. My family had just moved back to Fresno from Tewksbury, Massachusetts after the death of my father.

At this time, I was not a follower of Christ, as I had turned my back on the teachings of the Catholic faith that I was raised in. Somehow, I was blaming the death of my father on God and I wanted nothing to do with Him. When my grandfather and I would meet, he would tell me I needed to repent. I was not ready to repent.

On one occasion I remember him asking me, “Have you found Jesus, yet?” I snapped back at him, “I didn’t know he was lost.” He came back with, “He’s not lost, but you are if you don’t find him.” I wasn’t ready to hear any of this, but he had planted the seeds knowing God would do the work.

After many years of trying to do things on my own, I hit a bottom. I was drinking heavily and not doing so well. I went to a Promise Keepers gathering where I found faith in Jesus and asked him to be my Lord and Savior. It was a relief to have somewhere and someone to turn to with the problems in my life. My grandfather’s seeds had finally germinated and began to grow in my heart.

         At one of the family gatherings in Fresno, we were celebrating my mother’s 75th birthday. Grandpa John was at this gathering and he was now well into his 90’s. I confided in him my new faith in Jesus. He was overjoyed and he was encouraging, even though I was anything but nice to him when I was lost. Like a prodigal, he welcomed me home. He showed me forgiveness and grace, and I am eternally grateful that I got this opportunity to tell him before he passed.

Now you know some of the other reasons for my tears when I read the passage of Psalm 25 at my grandfather’s funeral. The words “Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions,” spoke loudly to me. I had started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and I was working the steps. I was in the process of making my 8th and 9th step in recovery. These are the steps:

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Many of the people at his funeral were people I had made or needed to make amends to. It was hitting a raw nerve. I felt convicted by these words of David, in Psalm 25, who asks for God’s redemption and guidance. I was overjoyed, guilty, and remorseful all at the same time as I read this passage.

         Since then, I have come to understand Psalm 25 better and found a deeper meaning in it. I keep a copy of it in my journal along with the picture of my grandfather doing missionary work in Mexico. It is ever a reminder that I am forgiven. I can now humbly follow in the footsteps of Grandpa John by sharing my journey of how I found Jesus, not because he was lost, but because I was.

         I hope you too can find solace in Psalm 25 and I hope you will join me in this wonderful journey that God has laid before us. May God be with you.

Psalm 25:1 “ To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in You I put my trust…”

By Pat Morvan