During corporate worship on Sunday morning I had to turn to my son to say, "I'm sorry." It was a humiliating thing to do and my pride nearly kept me from doing it. Pastor Bill asked us whether it was ever appropriate to yell at our children. I think the clear answer from the Ephesians text was no. He also said that if we had yelled at our children -- I have yelled at both my sons -- that we should take the necessary steps to reconciliation. Since I happened to be sitting next to Joe (he was in the Men's choir with me), I turned to him and said, "Joe, I'm so sorry for yelling at you."
This was Joe's immediate reply, "It's OK, Dad." I could have cried right there if I weren't in front of all of you. My son forgave me. As a matter of fact, it seemed like he was actually eager to do so. Today, there was another instance where I would have typically raised my voice. I caught myself, prayed for help right there and found an alternative to dealing with the situation -- firm conversation and direction, but no raised voice. It felt like I was trusting that God was there, that he saw what was going on and that I didn't need to respond out of my own anxiety and fear -- something that is so easy for me to do. I don't want to teach my boys and girl how to be angry and anxious with others.
I sometimes wonder if I'm doing a good job of raising my kids spiritually. I feel like my wife is doing an amazing job of parenting them, but most of the time I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I know, too, that there seems to be a fine line between teaching them religion -- something they'll weary of and probably despise one day -- and the life of the Spirit. I need so much help.
Posted on
Mon, May 11, 2009
by Jason Brown